The Taxman Cometh...

I will try and not let this be a rant today.  It isn't meant to be one, but I can already feel the stress this building this week.

I have a tax appointment on Saturday.  I just made it yesterday, late in the day once the tax office returned my call and we worked out a time. 

As you may have picked up through previous posts, we went together last year to see our tax man only to have to the next day be the intervention.  When the dust began to settle (after a year it hasn't completely settled yet) I was stuck paying the whole thing.  I paid for the preparation of our taxes.  I paid for both the state and federal income taxes, and I paid for the penalties that my wife incurred by accessing her IRA.

I should be over it, but truth is, I'm not.  I still feel a twinge of anger and/or frustration when I think about how she left me to pay her debt...and continues to do so.  Yes, you can say 'we' incurred the debt together as 'community' practices.  Sure, I suppose there is an argument for that but it's a hard argument for me to swallow and accept seeing that all the penalties 'we' incurred were the result of 'her' actions despite the 'numerous' times I tried to give advice.

Okay, I'm beating a dead horse.

Anyway, a few weeks back she contacted me, "out of the goodness of her heart", that she is willing to file 'jointly' with me again.  Her claim is that I will save money by filing jointly, and if I choose to go solo on this, I will be penalized by the government even more.  Sadly, my attorney agrees as do a few other I asked about it.

The issues I have with this is threefold:

1. Once again, the burden is on me to make the appointment, do the legwork, etc., where she doesn't need to lift a finger (typical).
2. Even though it may save me money for 'my' taxes, I can't shake the feeling that I'll be paying for her and her tax preparation...again.
3. She truly has pitched this to me as "I'm doing you a favor".  Anytime she can take credit for something, and let other people know that she is being 'helpful' just irks me.  I'm sure her family is doting over what a 'fine' person she is, how 'brave' and 'courageous' she is in the face of my adversity.  Maybe not, but my brain works that way.

So I need to contact her probably today or tomorrow and let her know about my appointment.  Personally I don't want to see her.  I do not want her showing up the same time I do.  I think after I am done, I will be just sending her the address (they moved from last year), and count on her to agree to go.

She also is still bugging me about the paperwork on her ring.  I hate to use this as a bargaining chip or leverage, but I may not give it to her until I know she goes to the tax man.  The flip side to this is she might be angry or not agree to go at all unless I give her the paperwork first.  But she sounds like she really needs it to sell the ring.

Truth be told is that I do feel some degree of guilt thinking like this and actually carrying this out.  It doesn't "feel" Christian-like to me...to use leverage...or blackmail.  On the other hand, I can't help but also recall the dozens upon dozens of times my wife has made me wait on her to get something done, told untruths, made me jump through her 'hoops', neglected responsibilities, and more...so why do I want to make ANYTHING easy for her? 

This post kinda flies in the face of my last few ones about 'forgiveness' as well.  Doesn't seem like I have matured much in that department...and I'm aware of that.