Ah, the famous mantra of my estranged wife.
If you haven't been paying attention as of late, this weeks marks just over 10 months that my wife walked out on me. And when she walked out on me, she took with her:
- More than 1/2 our joint checking account.
- Went through over $20K of her 401K/IRA savings (which I never saw a penny of).
- Left me to pay her Federal Income taxes.
- Stuck me with the entire property taxes for the year and homeowners insurance.
- Stuck me with a Credit Card with $3,200 in debt that she incurred solely.
I currently pay:
- Her medical benefits coverage.
- Her $3,200 CC in which I make monthly payments of $87 and have been for the past 10 months.
- I paid her Federal Income taxes since we filed jointly before she left.
- Mortgage, ALL utilities, my own car, insurance, gas, groceries, vet bills (BTW, she has never once asked about the dog).
- I cannot rent out the spare bedroom, because that is where all her clothes, shoes, personal belongings are....in boxes....that she won't pick up. So I'm effectively "storing" her possessions for free.
For the past 10 months she has told me how she has "changed", that I need to give her another "chance". That I was controlling the money. -WAIT. RIGHT. HERE. Can someone explain to me how I controlled all the money...if we had seperate checking and savings accounts? How was I controlling when I paid all the bills...on time....and bought everything for the house. If I "controlled" the money...where did the money come from when she bought liquor and cigarettes? If I "Controlled" the money, why were the banks looking for her and not me? Who between the two of us had a bankruptcy prior to our marriage and had issues with the IRS? NOT ME.
So this leads me up to today.
I got a new counter-offer today from her attorney. My own attorney even had to chuckle, and said this is clearly a 'stall tactic' and cannot be serious. Today's counter offer is as such:
- She wants 1/2 of my 401K. Lord knows I can't ask for 1/2 of hers...she already took it out of the bank, and spent it when she wasn't supposed to because of the divorce.
- She wants 1/2 the house. The house she never paid one dime for because she was bankrupt, the one where I paid all the taxes on it, the insurance, home improvements, etc. The house she VOLUNTARILY walked out of 10+ months ago.
- She wants me to now pay her entire CC debt, in the neighborhood of $6K. The debt she cannot pay. The debt where the CC companies call for HER. The CC's with the insane interest rates she incurred because of bad decisions, and could never pay back.
- And the best one. She wants 60% of my monthly income for support and we don't even have kids.
Well, if it's not, why are you so keen on taking all of mine after your blew all of yours?
2 comments:
What a joke. I'm assuming you are upset and shaking your head as much as I am reading this. Even if I didn't read your blog and know your situation; this is all ridiculous.
401k - She doesn't deserve anywhere near 1/2 of this. You need to show documentation/cause that she took hers out, blew it, and you didn't receive a penny. If she gets any of this, she will take a huge federal penalty to withdraw it and blow it.
House - Half the equity in the house? This is going to be tougher one depending on what your state laws say. Make sure you show that you paid all mortgage payments out of your separate account.
Credit Cards - again, this is a joke. Is it a joint account? Does it show up on your credit report? If not - stop paying it for her! If you don't have access to the online account so you can see transactions then ask your attorney to request it. You can, most likely, prove all these charges were for her before and after she left the home. It all about records and documentation! I've been through this myself.
Income - I wasn't going to comment on this as it's a f'ing joke BUT....she doesn't deserve alimony to begin with. This is where you have to prove the alcoholism, any extra-marital affairs, etc. If she did any of that, she isn't eligible for alimony, most likely. If she did get a small amount of alimony, then it should be for a year MAX. This is also where you prove that she is employed and not paying taxes. I know it's "playing dirty" but you can't let her ruin your financial future because of her lack of financial responsibility.
Doesn't sound like she's changed and she is playing hardball. Time for you to NOT give in and play ball back.
I went thru a divorce, and here was my experience. My ex was entitled to half the equity in the house despite not working for 7 years prior. Standard alimony is for a marriage of long duration (10 yrs or more) and for half the term of the marriage or until re-marriage, whichever happens first. I only had to pay for 4 years since my ex re-married after only 4 yrs. I was entitled to half of all retirement including pension and vice versa. We decided it was a wash, and neither party had to pay out of their accts. My ex had student loans prior to the marriage which we paid off after marrying, so that $25k counted as a "credit" in the balance sheet of our marital asset/debt division. Cars were to be divided equally, so again, it figured into the balance sheet. We had no credit card debt, but I am sure that debt acquired during the marriage will be shared equally since California is a community property state. However, debt acquired post-separation is each individual's responsibility. That should be noted on the standard boilerplate paperwork that was filed with the divorce papers. Your lawyer should be telling you all of this. The best thing you can do is to be a master record-keeper, and it sounds like you are already doing that. Good luck.
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