Year is half over.

Today is July 2nd, and I came to the realization that this year is half over.

It's 1/2 over and I did not expect this year to go the way that it did. 

I had wrote sorta a bucket list on January 1st of many of the things I wanted to accomplish this year.  I did the same thing last year and was happy to look back and realize I did teh majority things I had planned on or had set out to do in 2011.

2012 isn't going the way I had planned.  Not by a long shot.  No trips.  No home rennovations.  No major progress on my train layout.  The only thing I have done is lose weight...and lose money.

I don't want for this post to be dour today.  I'm actually in an upbeat mood for the most part, but it is tough to medidiate and swallow the fact that six months have gone by....six months I will never get back...and they have been some of the worst six months of my life that has left me to a certain extent socially paralyzed.

Part of it is a money issue.  I thank God everyday that I have a job.  And He sustains and fulfills my basic needs.  There is food on my table, and electricty in my house, and gas in my car.  But I can't really go anywhere, buy anything nice, and I'm constantly cutting coupons, turning off lights, not turning on my (A/C...thank goodness it hasn't been super hot yet) and reigning in a lot of expenditures.  This tightening of the belt has caused me to do more cleaning at home, reading more books, watching more home videos, and spending a lot more time with my dog.  It's also forced me to get a tad more creative in finding alternative entertainment outside...which isn't a bad thing....in the form of hiking, picnics, hanging outside in the backyard or front with a few of the neighbors.

The part is a soical issue.  Many of my friends still ask the burning 'questions'...Some of which I don't mind answering, some of them I do.  A few "friends" have written me off, and in turn I've written a few of them off as well.  Some of them I miss...others...not so much.

One of the issues I have to deal with is my stress induced Chronic Uticaria.  I haven't had an episode in a few years now, but not dealing with mental stress can activate it, and I had mild epsiode that started this past Friday.  I usually treat it with plenty of rest, and steroids such as Predisone, cortaid...and plenty of cool showers and cold compresses.  It can be highly irritaing in a full blown case...causing me to itch, and swell,, and look visually un-appealing.  It's brought on by a combination of stress, fatigue, and heat.  All three of which happened this past week, and I spent the weekend paying for it.  At least it's almost cleared up now, and hopefully will be gone by tonight.

I didn't go to Celebrate on Friday, and Saturday's mens group was cancelled.  I didn't go to church yesterday because I did look like a leper, so I watched Joel Osteen instead and worked about the house.  One friend came over and hung out with me yesterday afternoon for a few hours and we visited out on my porch.  All in all, I tried to spend no money.  See, my lawyers bill came in on Friday, and it was a whopping and unexpected $900 for the month of June.  I can only imagine what my wife's is and this may have been her reasoning to ask me to put things on hold.  After getting this bill, I can understand why, and have no qualms now about placing thinsg on hold until she gets out of treatment later this month.

Speaking of my wife....she texted me over the weekend and asked if I would reaad her second packet of pre homework she is doing prior to her treatment. I said I would, and I got the 40 page packet.  To be honest...I'm not that impressed.  My SIL told me that my wife is under a lot of pressure and is completely stressed out over it...and now that I have a copy, and read the first third of it...I don't see what the issue is.  It's not like she's working or taking care of anyone, so she has all the time in the world.  The very first page says this packet generally takes 8-12 hours to complete if one is being honest with themselves.  My wife claims it took her almost a week and a half.  I don't see how, but I'm not around her, so I can't judge.  I know I work 40 hours a week, sit in traffic 5 hours a week, go to meetings, pay bills, etc, etc...and I still find time to collect all my financial documents, study for a test, etc.  But then again, I've always been good with time management....and my wife isn't.

Today is super slow at work.  Kinda figured it would be with the 4th smack in the middle of the week.  Speaking of which, I have no plans for the 4th as of yet.  I have a few options open to me, but none of them strike my fancy.  I'd rather just chill with my dog.  More on that later..or once I decide what I want to do.