A New Dawn

Hopefully yesterday was just a fluke.

Lord, I hope so.

Afterwork I met my mother for dinner near where I live and she knew I was slightly upset.  While we sat with our meal, I explained everything that happened the evening before: The texts, the messages, the nightmare, the news about my divorced friend. All of it.

She didn't really have anything new to say other than she had recently spoken to both my grandfather and my aunt, and supposedly both of them think I am much better off.  They secretly had reservations about my wife for a long time.  I can't help but sarcastically chuckle inside: "Am I the only person that didn't notice things were wrong?"

During our dinner, I received one text from my wife (the only one I received all evening) requesting that at the very least I find her cosmotology license renewal and bring it to the neighbor by today.  The fact is, I don't have it.  I checked all the mail.  It isn't there.  I double checked.  It isn't there.  She will have to contact them herself and request a follow up and say it got lost in the mail or something, but I'm sure she'll blame me later today when I have to write her I don't have it.

Before I had dinner with my mother, I spoke with my lawyer for the first time since my wife was served, almost 30 days ago.  We had at most a 10 minute call and got straight down to business, as I wrote my questions out ahead of time so that I would remember them and not get off topic:

1. As far as my lawyer knows, as of yesterday afternoon, my wife has not hired her own attorney nor contacted him.  I assume because she can't afford one, but she did deplete her IRA account last week of another $10K (and a hefty penalty for withdrawl), leaving approx $25K left to her name.  This is good news for me on the surface, but anything could happen over the course of the next 3 bsuiness days.
2. I am under no obligation to deliver her mail to anyone.  My lawyer even suggested I don't, especially to the neighbor who in the past has been verbally hostile.  My lawyer agreed with me that she has had every opportunity to contact the USPS and request a change of address form, or contact her debtors individually to make address changes.  Because she chose to leave on her own accord, she is responsible for her own transactions, not me.  It's not that I want to be an ass, I really don't.  It's also not hard for me to walk to the neighbors and hand over her mail.  But the fact is: A) I don't want to, B) I am not required to, C) And why am I helping her out again when she isn't helping me?
3. Because we are still technically married, I have every right to open any financial mail of hers, including invoices, bank statements, and the like.  Personal letters, no.  But anything else, even if it is in her name is fair game, and my lawyer suggested I make photocopies of everything: every bill she is delinquent on, every fine she accrues, every amount she withdrawls from the bank.  I suppose this is so that just in case, we can show the judge I am not responsible for any of this, that her continued irresponsibility is to blame.
4. If she continues to send me hostile emails, texts, or voice messages...ignore them all.  Do not respond, but if they get out of hand or escalate to direct her to speak to him.

I felt much better after talking to him.  It takes some pressure of my mind in knowing that I am still doing things legally within my rights as she continues to screw the pooch.  He also indicated that my impending divorce may move on teh fast track and be over sooner rather than later.

Onto other things:

I still feel lonely, but I did sleep fine last night.  As a matter of fact I went to bed at 9:30 last night, and probably fell asleep by 9:45.  I did have one dream early this morning that I remember though: It was my neighbors telling me they saw my wife's car down the street again letting me know she's in town....then I woke up.

I have a BBQ to go to both on Saturday and again on Sunday with different friends, and I am meeting a friend early Sunday morning before church for coffee.  It'll fun, but the fact I am going solo isn't lost on me.

Finally my divorced friend texted me again last night around 8pm to see how I was holding up.  She said her ex-husband has calmed down a bit and may even feel bad about his over-reaction the night before, but she didn't indicate if he's going to allow her stay one extra month or not now.

I told her I was praying for her, for him, for me, for my wife...and I am.  She said thank you and said she was praying for me as well.

Then she sent me a text calling me "Sweetie", then a follow up correcting herself and used my given name.  I told her don't be embarrased, it's fine, and that is one of the reasons she makes me feel alive and special.  Her last text to me was: "You are alive, and you are special!"

It made me feel really good,...and confused.  Does she want to persue something with me someday or not?  But I had to remind myself that we are both emotionally volatile right now, and nothing...nothing can even begin to happen or develop until January.  And what if I meet someone else between now and then without all these complications.  Ugh...timing.