War of Words II

This morning was rich.

I got a text from my wife at around 10am asking me if I wanted to meet her for lunch. So she got here either super early, or she came down the night before and spent the night somewhere in the area.

OMG, come to find out she spent the night at the girls house who is throwing the surprise b-day party for my good friend later today. It gets better. Said mutual friend told my wife I will not go to the party because she will be there. Ahh...great. Really? So not only do you invite my in-denial wife about her drinking to a bar, you let her stay with you and not tell anyone, and then proceed to tell my wife I won't attend because of her drinking.

Am I living in Bizarro world?

I asked my wife is she saw a counsler yet.

She avoided the question by deflecting it to something else.

I asked again.

She stared talking about her sister and how her sister is meddeling in her life and our marriage.

I said "I will assume 'No' since you can't answer the question."

"Actually I do, on Monday."

"Then why don't you just answer the question the first time, instead of dancing around talking about your sister, and everything else?"

-long pause-

I push more..."And what about the deposit you were going to put in the bank for YOUR taxes? You've told me 2x now over the past 2 weeks, and I haven't seen anything. Instead...as is the norm....you are here for a party, meaning you put yourself and fun first, before family, marriage, and responsibility."

That opened the flood gates. I got a series of angry texts in return....all deflections, all excuses, and how I'm not a good friend because I'm not going to a party tonight. They were so random, they didn't even make sense, and oddly this time I didn't get mad or emotional.

She then had the audacity to say "I thought YOU wanted to work on the marriage?" I simply replied..."I'm going to counseling. I'm paying my bills. I'm being a responsible adult. I didn't run away. Something you cannot seem to do."

Her last text to me (which I don't beleive for one second) was "You can go ahead to the party, I'm not going. You make me feel like a child and like shit."

No....you make yourself feel like shit because you know I am right. You feel like shit because you are running out of excuses to get into counseling (it's been over 3 weeks now and you haven't yet gone). You feel like shit because deep down in your heart you know you abandoned your daughter, you abandoned your marriage, you've alienated your family, and your spending the night at other peoples houses and not your own bed. You feel like shit because you know you owe money for your responsibilities but you spend your government handout instead at bowling alleys, bars, and filling your gas tanks driving to your friends places. You feel like shit because you cannot talk, text, or look your daughter in the face right now. You feel like shit because the big dream of getting a job in another state isn't happening like you thought it would.

You feel like shit, because you know all of this is WRONG.

I spoke to my daughter this morning. She feels like crap today. She knew before I did that her mom came into town yesterday, and my wife hasn't even attempted once to contact her.

As I pointed out to my wife. She puts herself and fun first. Family, marriage, God all come in last place.

I am not going to the party tonight: 1) I cannot believe my wife is not going to go after she drove 4 hours yesterday to get here. 2) I cannot believe my friends girlfriend is knowingly harboring my alcoholic wife in her own house and failed to mention that to me when she asked for me to help set the party up. 3) I cannot believe my friends girlfriend told my wife why I wasn't going to attend, thus my wife telling me how crappy I am for doing that to him. 4) I need to pack additional boxes of my wifes clothing and put them on the porch tonight for what I believe will be the inevitable late night drive-by.

I have my second one-on-one therapy session tomorrow, and my lawyer appointment as well. Need to get the ball rolling. My "real" wife, the one I married has been abducted and replaced by stubborn, prideful, irresponsible, cold-hearted, alcoholic.