Despite my wife saying she was not going to go the party last night, I'm glad I chose to stay home anyway.
Why?
Well as my SIL predicted, my wife showed up anyway.
*Sigh*
Well, at least she had the decency not to come to the house last night. And if she did, she would find two large boxes on the porch I packed for her, including her mail. One box is all shoes. The other more clothes. I'll pack more in the future, but two boxes is all I felt like last night.
That being said, I went to bed at an early hour of 9pm. Slept 'okay' although I did get up once at midnight, and again at 3am, and finally at 5:15 in which I decided just to get up and start my day.
Did some grocery shopping...for one....and am going to treat myself to steak one night this week.
Met with my lawyer this morning. 30 minutes is all it took, plus a check for his retainer fee. That being said, I signed the papers. She will hopefully be served mid-week next week in her new state. Lawyer told me to avoid any contact with her, lest I get emotional or allow her to talk me into something.
On the way home I called my dad with the news. He's supportive. For me, I really had no emotion. I wasn't feeling happy or sad. I wasn't depressed or angry. It just felt like a business transaction.
That was until I called my best friend. I let him know what I did and he congratulated me. He said he knows I tried, tried hard for quite some time, but my wife is all about herself right now.
And then I cried. Right there and then in the car. I had a good 3 minute cry, and I'm sure there will be more of those in the days and weeks to come. And then someday next week, when my wife gets served by surprise, the crap will really hit the fan. She says she doesn't want a divorce, that she still loves me (as I've said here before), but I see not one iota of evidence of ANY attempt over the last 3+ weeks to rectify anything.
No...like I said yesterday. Bowling, and parties are her top priorities right now.
So, therapy in about 5 hours, then Celebrate Recovery at 8pm, followed by men's support group tomorrow at 6:15am.
1 comment:
And so they are... Your closest friends and family are behind you and support your difficult decision. And even me, out here in cyber-space, it really seems that it has become the only option left for you.
I think for a lot of us, there are few difficult decisions in life where we don't have moments of regret or where we question our choices, but as I've pointed out to you before, and I'm sure you know, you can read your own words right here about what you've been through anytime you're having a "moment."
I hope your session this afternoon is helpful, and may you find some sense of peace & calm within.
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