Surprise, Surprise.....(Er...not really)

It borders on being comedic.

I had a gut feeling that my wife was going to pay the house a surprise visit this weekend, knowing that I would be out of town for the day.  Even though I kept my plans on the down low, mutual friends always have a tendency not to think and let information slip.  And my instincts didn't let me down.

Sure enough...even though she hasn't spoken to me in over a week, or even acknowledged to me she was served papers (she's let everyone else know, however), she made the 4.5 hour drive to my house on Saturday expecting to have free access.

I myself happened to be two hours away when I got her first text in a week: "Did you change the locks on the house?  And my garage door remote doesn't work."

Duh...She knew damn well I changed the locks on the house otherwise she wouldn't have been pressing her daughter two weeks ago for an extra copy of the key.  Do you think I'm that stupid?  And of course I changed the remote code on the garage....don't you think I know what a golden opportunity it would be for you to raid the garage?  Your friends are giving you up.  They warned me (they didn't have to, but they confirmed my suscpicions anyway) that you were going to try and take some of my valuables.  Silly woman...do you think I just fell off the turnip truck?  When you go silent, and your neighbor friends all go silent as well just days beforehand, you don't think that screams 'somethings up'.

But I had a good laugh. 

I don't think she expected me to put all her boxes on the porch Saturday morning before I left, signaling that I knew she was coming.

My response to her text:

"Take the boxes on the porch....they are yours."

But when I returned that evening, they were all still there intact.

Come to find out she went to yet another party Saturday night in the area.  Are you kidding me?  She drove 4.5 hours (again, now for the third time in less than 3 weeks) to attend another party?  Spoke to my step-daughter yesterday (Sunday), and, NO, as expected my wife did not visit her own daughter yet again....though she had to drive right by her place both ways.  Sad....Sad...Sad.

Yesterday, my wife came by the street again.  This time I was home, and I think she knew it.  I did not bother going outside or even acknowledging her presence other than my text "Pick up your stuff on the porch."  She was at the neighbors house (the woman who told me 2 months back that she wanted nothing to do with me anymore), for almost 3.5 hours.  That neighbor lives 3 houses down (lets say 60 yards?).  And she still did not get her stuff.

My wife sped off at 6:30pm, which is kind of late to drive back another 4.5 hours, so I assume she's staying in the area yet again.  Well, today would be the perfect time to raid the house seeing that I am at work.  I left her stuff on the porch again and am having a neighbor watch for her car.

My father is also supposed to stop by within the hour and take a look.  See if my dog is okay.  I locked him up inside today so my dad will let him out to go potty soon and check the house.  I'll feel much better when he calls. (Update - He just called.  House is okay.  My pup went outside and pottied.  And all the stuff is still there though...she still hasn't collected it.)



Clothes...awaiting pick up.

 Anyway, another neighbor called me this morning and let me know she overheard the conversation between my wife and the other neighbor from Saturday.  I guess my wife is spinning a masterful tale because it was overheard that the neighbor said that "if I truly loved my wife, I would get in my car and go get her and bring her back."

WHAT?

Um...she left me.  She left her daughter.  She broke all ties with her family.  She had a place lined up in another state to crash.  She stiffed me on taxes and bills.  She raided the bank account before I could close it.  She lied to me.  She lied to her daughter.  She still drinks and is in denial.  She still has no job and spending money she doesn't have.  She's alienanting friends who won't cover for her anylonger.

AND IF I LOVE HER....I HAVE TO GO GET HER?!?

Hahahahahahahahahaha

No, that only makes me an enabler to the Nth degree and sweeps EVERYTHING under the rug.

Screw the neighbors.  You may have two...count 'em...2...people fooled, but you're not fooling the rest.  Like I give a rats ass now what the two female neighbors (who have ignored me the past two months) think.  What...?  They are going to stop talking to me now?  They already did two months ago.

Like I said...pure comedy....I needed a good laugh.