Interlude to sadness and madness.

Today, I'm agitated.

But at least I haven't cried yet once today.

I spoke to my MIL this morning. No one has heard from my wife in days now, so I have no idea how the second interview went, or of she even had one. I did hear that she had one interview on Tuesday, that it was gruelling, and she's now not sure she likes the company.

Every free moment I am asking/praying to God to keep me calm and at peace. I am really trying to tunr this over to God and let His will be done and not to take it back. Trying to live one day at a time, nay, one hour at a time in my mind and heart.

Spoke with the interventionist this morning. We agreed that our second meeting (if she shows up) will include a change of venue and smaller in scale. It will now be at my inlaws house (instead of mine) with only my inlaws, myself, my wife and the interventionist. We are removing my parents, my BIL/SIL, and the hostile/nosey eyes of the neighbors whose judgements against me appear to have already been cast evem though we've never spoken and they don't know what happens in my house. Either way, I plan this time on going back to my own home when it's over and I don't care how uncomfortable either of us are.

That's supposed to take place in 48 hours from now.

I'm trying not to get mad and to concentrate at work, but I can tell I'm agitated now and my frustration is beginning to boil and mount and I have no release.

My dad walked my dog today for me a good hour and half. I'm glad he did, because I've felt horrible I haven't done it the last two days myself.

Looks like tonight I will spend another night home, alone, watching TV, eating leftovers, and hitting bed at a decent hour. Need to get my sleep, clear my mind, and rest up for Sunday.

My mouth is continuously dry, like cotton mouth. I wonder if this is a side effect of any of the meds I'm currently on.