Meds- Day 4

Today is day 4 on my 20mg of Citropram.....and I feel okay.

I'm not nearly as emotional as I was yesterday. I'm surprised I survived a whole day of work without anyone noticing what a basket case I was. However, towards the end of the day, my chest was a little sore, like the onset of a panic attack that never took hold. Just a light ache when I took deep breaths.

And strangely, my wife was very nice and chatty and even somewhat loving towards me last night. Basically almost a 180 from a few days before. Probably one of the reasons relationships drive me nuts. (sometimes I wonder if she actually the bipolar one and not me, or maybe we both are and I'm the only one who knows)

I met her after work at the bowling alley and was greeted by not only a kiss from her, but her team mates all commented on how good I'm starting to look now that I've dropped 20lbs. Yup, I weighed in this morning at 217, down from 237 almost 2 months ago. It was an ego boost to my soul that people are noticing and asking me what I'm doing....so that was my bright spot of the day.

I have selected the 'in-network' therapist out of my own personal financial concerns and will have my 1st visit with her tomorrow, Wed., at 5:30pm. Depending on how it goes, I have chosen the first female therapist as a backup and have a tentative appointment Saturday morning as a back-up plan. She seemed to give me a better vibe over the phone in our brief phone conversation.

Took my gym clothes today so I will be hitting the gym after work, at least to ride the bike. Started the morning with my wife 'touching' me in bed...nothing sexual...just placed her hand on me and for the first time in months I didn't want the moment to end. Had a good cup of coffee and a packet of oatmeal for breakfast, and so far work is 'okay' today.

Someone recommended that I read the book of Proverbs yesterday. I tried reading chapter 1 & 2, but I just couldn't focus. It just wasn't making sense, but then again, nothing was yesterday.