Man, in most cases, is afraid of the unknown. The afterlife is something (at least if you are a believer of) we all think about, and I suppose even atheists will have to come to terms with it once their physical shell dies and yet are still conscious to recognize they were wrong and there is something else after all.
Personally, I am fascinated by death. Not in a gory way, but probably not in a healthy way either. I recognize that all things must come to an end, and some people come to terms or to peace about it an an early age, others not until old age. Some don't have time to think about it all or even recognize it, such as infants, and yet others are never prepared for it as it may strike at anytime, always believing they have years left when in fact they don't.
Since an early age I was always intrigued about mummification and Egyptology and as I grew I began to understand the separation of life here on this plane and that of which God and Christ promise, yet for as great as it sounds, I'd be lying to say I wasn't scared at times.
Yet at others times I do find an odd 'peace' about death. Many people who are depressed, ill, spiritually corrupt, or given up hope look forward to death and may live their life so recklessly they ensure themselves a quicker death or even contemplate suicide. I'm not 100% convinced that suicide is a mortal sin as defined by Catholicism, ensuring you spend eternity in damnation. I believe God understands our hearts and our mind, and while He may proclaim this is the ultimate act of selfishness, he also loves us like we have yet to experience.
I believe that God loves me and that Jesus forgives me. I believe they want me to show obedience in my time here on earth, and request that that turn my burdens over to them when times get tough. And I am afraid to hurt myself. What if I screw it up? What if I live after all in more pain than I am in now? What if it is indeed a mortal sin that I have not interpreted correctly and thus ensuring a one way ticket to Hades, and eventually hell?
But when times are tough, I do wish it would all end. I'm not sure what I mean by that either in all honesty. There are times I wish I could just fall asleep, if you will, and never again wake up. I get so tired of things in my life. It seems that for every bright spot, there seems to be a few dark spots that weigh me down. And unfortunately it seems as if the dark spots are much more numerous than the bright spots.
So why am I thinking about this today? For one, it's finally 2007 and time for a fresh start and a new outlook. 2006 was miserable. I'm glad its over and I never want to repeat it. If I could I'd try an wipe 2006 from my memory, well at least 95% of it. There were a few good things I suppose, but it seems like I can only count them on one hand.
I saw the hanging of Saddam Hussein today on an internet video. I remember a few years back when Americans were captured by terrorists and they beheaded them. I never saw those, nor do I ever want to. It shames me to even think about others watching those deaths take place the way they did. Yet, I sought out the video of Saddams execution, wondering where exactly he went that instant. Most of us would judge in our hearts that he went immediately to Hades to await final judgment and cast into hell someday, but that all that is to us....a guess. Perhaps Saddam had a change of heart in his last moments. Only God knows that. I found it quite puzzling that some of his last words were 'not to let hate enter your hearts and not to be mad at the occupiers of Iraq because that led to a closed mind'. Was that the ramblings of a mad man who is disillusioned, or did he change his last few days or weeks in this realm?
Oddly I feel indifferent in regards to his execution. However, I was intrigued to know he was alive one second, and the next instant his soul was liberated and was now either in paradise or in torment. And to think of all the other people who every moment of everyday suddenly pass, and find themselves in the same predicament who may not nearly will ever been close to being as cruel as Saddam. Maybe the sheer mistake was not to believe at all...given hundreds if not thousands of chances to accept Christ as the savior.
Are you one of those people?
Am I?
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