When others are happy, be happy with them. If they are sad, share their sorrow. Live in harmony with each other. Don't try and act important, but enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know it all!
Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much as possible.
Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is written:
"I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it," says the Lord.
Instead, do wha the Scriptures say"
"If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink, and they will be ashamed of what they have done to you."
Don't let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good. (Romans 12: 15-21)
This passage is from my New Believers Bible, a slightly more simplistic version than the same verses in my NIV bible, but same nonetheless.
After debating on not going to church yesterday because I really wasn't in the mood to do so, I'm glad that a friend talked me into going afterall. The message seemed longer than usual, but perhaps God really needed to speak AT me and TO me.
See, I've been struggling the last few weeks in regards to forgivness, a degree of bitterness, thoughts of 'justice' and 'fairness', and overall moving on. But that's the rub, these issues I am guilty of making MY own, and not placing faith in God that He will see me through it all.
If you'll recall, it wasn't to long ago I was speaking of forgiveness right here in an earlier post. But it just wasn't about me forgiving, but trying my hardest to remember not to seek the world's brand of justice, not to seek revenge, not to drag her down as far as I can in a game of "Who's going to win this"?
The real answer is, we both already lost. But who gains to lose more? Not just financially, but spiritually, and in happiness. Yes, she may indeed get 1/2 my money that I saved up and she blew through her own. I may have the law decide I own her for four years while she continues to do nothing.
But I have a chance of finding a different type of happiness. My habits will bring me new friends, and hopefully someday a new outlook, where I can be at peace with myself inside. Perhaps He will introduce me to someone else, someone appreciative of what I have to offer and recognize my hard work and values for what they are and continue to be.
On the other hand, what are the chances of her doing the same? She will go through the alimony, she will be continue to fault everyone else, she will continue to surround herself with enablers and those who don't know His word.
My grandfather is in his mid 90's, I'm in my early 40's, and I can look back over the last 30 years of my relationship with him and realize that my grandfather is still bitter although he tries to bury it deep down inside and pretend its not there. But we see it. He isn't fooling anyone.
He never remarried. He never allowed himself to find that kind of joy again. If I listen to my mom and my aunt and my grandmother, then my grandfather has been smoldering for over 50 years now.
I don't want to be that guy.
Yesterday's message was more than just being about forgiveness. It was about not seeking vengeance. Not seeking tit-for-tat. Not seeking to reject. Not about "getting even". Instead it was about letting God handle the inequities in life, that He will deal out His justice when He is ready. It may take months, even years, or maybe in the afterlife, but He will determine the outcome if I trust Him.
Instead I am to kill her with kindness.
To be honest, that's hard for any of us to do. And I am no different from anyone else.
I can fully admit that I'm guilty of wanting to dole out my own brand of justice. But if I do? Does that make me any better than her? Do I get a trophy if she is miserable and I "win"? Will my own thoughts betray me and blind me from letting me see the person I may possibly meet in the future? Will my own smoldering rage scare others away? Will I miss the mark of eternal joy because I was hung up on something trivial, and material that I can't take with me into the next life anyway? Will God look at me and say "You didn't get it my son. I told you to forgive as I have forgiven you. I wanted you to be a light amongst others, but instead you squandered any possible joy you could have experienced with thoughts of injustice and anger and drove others from you instead of to you."
God also says he doesn't remove anything from the faithfulls lives that He doesn't replace with something better.
I want that "better". Not because I am greedy or claim to 'deserve' it for my trials and tribulations, but because I want to share with someone I can respect and will respect back. I want to be treated the way I treat others and how I would treat a wife, a spouse, a helpmate, a soulmate. I want to be secure in giving my love out again, and knowing that person will love me...in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, who puts marriage first....above stagnant gossipers trudging through life and have disposable relatinships because they may not agree on one thing.
My pastor finished yesterday with the an old saying, but he added something new (at least to me) at the end:
"They say 'Revenge is a dish best served cold'. Perhaps, but it tends to leave an aweful aftertaste for all the rest of your days."
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