So I had dinner with my mom last night after sitting in traffic for 45 minutes to go 20 miles and wasn't really relaxed to begin with. It's hard to get relaxed after working all day and then knowingly subjecting yourself to sitting in ridculous traffic just to have a sandwich with your mom.
To say I was a little wound up was an understatement.
It didn't help when my mom informed me mid-meal that my aunt and uncle have decided not to drive the "whole 2 hours" this year for Christmas.
So not only did Thanksgrieving take a back seat this year, it appears Christmas has been cast off by my portions of my family as well....which makes me a little, no- rephrase, pretty sad.
So not only has my annual Holiday memories and experiences of 10 years been decimated by my 'other' family, it appears that my own family is going to make it that much un-special.
To be honest, I kinda feel crappy about the whole thing.
Really crappy.
2012 will go down as the worst year of my life. and I'm so glad I have only 26 more days to endure it. I am seriously going to try my hardest to make 2013 'MY' year, no matter what the stakes.
I'm so tired of taking a back to seat to everyone else's selfish ideals and putting themselves first, that I can't take people (even parts of my own family) seriously anymore.
Other than my dog and my parents, I am putting myself first in 2013, ramifications be damned. That doesn't mean I'm going to turn into a douche, or someone arrogant...it's just I'm not going to wait on people anymore that eventually let me down for their own self-serving interests.
I am determined that in 2013 I will take a vacation. And I think next year, I am going to try and visit my relatives in Michigan for a real "white" Christmas...the kind I have never experienced before.
As I was digesting this new revleation from my mom last night, she actually suggested that she, my father, and I go to a movie and out for dinner on Christmas.
WHAT?!?!?
When did we decide it was okay to act like we are in a retirement community and pretend we're all 75 years old and Christmas is "just another day"? Not me. Screw that.....I don't want to see a movie on Christmas. I want a home cooked meal, egg nog, blinking lights, crappy music, sit around in my PJ's or sweats, look at a crackling fire, have some champagne and have my pup curled up on my lap giving glory to the one true Lord who died for my salvation.
3 comments:
Do your best to find the positive in something today... Talk to your folks about your wish for a traditional holiday... the need to make new traditions, about your feelings of being let down by your relations not wanting to make the drive. Can you & your local family go to them? Are they older, and feeling overwhelmed? Have they lost family members in the past year and are perhaps feeling a little down themselves? Maybe you pack Christmas into a little road trip to their place... If that's not an option, possibly go to a church service as a family with you parents. You seem confident in the kitchen, make the traditional meal and invite your parents to your house - maybe you Mom suggested the movies because she herself is simply tired and not feeling all too jolly herself...
You can choose, today, to either stay feeling all Bah-humbug, or choose to dig into your vision of Christmas and make it as close to a reality as possible...
"Have yourself a merry little christmas
Let your heart be light
Next year all our troubles will be
Out of sight
Have yourself a merry little christmas
Make the yule-tide gay
Next year all our troubles will be
Miles away
Once again as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Will be near to us once more
Someday soon, we all will be together
If the fates allow
Until then, well have to muddle through somehow
So have yourself a merry little christmas now."
Thanks....I mean that.
No my aunt & unlcle are in their 50's. My aunt hasn't worked in 20 years and my uncle works just to stay busy (they are independantly wealthy), not because he has to.
There is no tragic news that I am aware of. I suppose it's possible, although highly unlikely as I would have heard something by now.
I love my aunt & uncle...but they are very ::clears throat:: idependant thinkers (and agnostic) and it's kind of a running theme that for as long as I remember that they will grace us with their presence when they 'feel' like it. 'Nuff said.
I actually did offer to cook for my parents this year..and my mom just didn't seem that keen on it. Unsure why (something I'll have to explore and inquire about later). She is working Xmas Eve, 1/2 day this year (triple time I think).
Yeah, I'm thinking of throwing a get-together with my friends soon at my place. You're right and I'm already determined that starting Jan 1st I'm going to make some drastic changes in my life...for me.
Why wait? Why not reclaim what's left of 2012, and make it yours? You could do that - there is still plenty of time. Wouldn't it be great to say that only part of 2012 sucked? You can take it back and make it your Christmas...
Post a Comment