Crazy is as Crazy does.

What a night.

At approx. 8:10pm my cell phone rang.  It was my wife.

I made the mistake of answering, thinking she may want to have a civil conversation with me.  It took all of 15 seconds for her to ask "Who was the strange woman going into 'OUR' house on Sunday morning at 7am?"

It took me a second to think back, because it was now Wed. evening, and I was caught of guard by the question, and what even prompted it.

"It was Darla (not her real name), my grammar school friend who has been over to 'My' house numerous times.  You've met her before AND her fiance.  You know...the guy you actually used to see in your Monday night bowling league. 

And besides, it wasn't 7am, it was after 8am, and we had a cup of coffee at Starbucks before she went to church.  She came over to drop something off.  So glad to know that the neighbors....who again, don't want to be in the middle of this, let you know within minutes that a mutual friend of 'ours' came over."

She responded, "Well, how do you think that looks to me?  Doesn't that seem a bit odd she's over so early?"

"Makes you look paranoid.  Besides, I invited her over and what do you care who is over and when since you don't live here?"

I didn't like what she was insinuating and told her "Fine...Think whatever you want too, and tell whatever neighbor who felt the need to call you, "Good job, they ratted out our own mutual friend.  You can call Darla yourself."

She started to raise her voice at me, and begin to press the point.  I cut her off mid-sentence "Uh...yeah.  I'm about to watch the season finale of Modern Family.  I'm going to hang up now."  And she started with her accusations again...so I hung up.  Yup, I just hung up.

She called the house phone again 3x times in rapid succession.  Each time, I picked up the phone, and hung it right back up.  At the 4th time she called, I allowed it to go to the answering machine, in which I heard her call me 'childish' and then actually threatened me something to the effect of "It would behoove you to pick up the phone and speak to me if you know what's good for you.  It's not a good idea for you to hang up on me."

Whatever.  I then pulled the cord out of the wall for the rest of the night.

Then my cell phone rang, and rang, and rang.  I never picked those up either.

Then the ALL CAPS TEXT MESSAGES STARTED, until I turned off my cell phone.

Screw you...You call me up and want to pick a fight and insinuate that I'm now having an affair with my engaged childhood friend because some nosey-Nelly on the street saw her for all of 10 minutes before she went to church? 

You called 4 times on the house phone, 3 times on my cell phone, and then start texting me...all within 10 minutes, throwing out nonsense and idle-threats and I'm the one being childish???  You're nuts and clearly more troubled than I originally thought.

No, it pisses you off now that you no longer have ANY POWER over me, and I CHOOSE not to be your door mat anymore.  That I can now have the balls to just end a conversation with you because it's unproductive, stupid, silly, and you only want to bait me into saying something that I will regret and you can hold over my head.

Nope. 

Done.

I actually went to bed last night and fell asleep.  This time, I realized that her words are no longer keeping me up at night.  That I'm not worried about what she thinks or says (at least last night I didn't).  I can't deal with irrational people.

I have a suspicision she'll be making a drive down to the house this fine Memorial Day weekend.