Since I started yet another regime of mood stablizers, anti-anxiety medication, and cholesterol meds, I have been more tired than usual as of late.
But I wonder how much is due to the drugs, and how much is due to me just being emotionally tired.
The last few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. Some good days, some bad. There have been days of secret tears, and other days of public laughter. Though God requests us not worry about the future, I fully admit (as I have many times before) that this is an issue I struggle with. I give it up to the Lord, and eventually take it all back, wondering why my prayers aren't heard and what is this whole "in His time" thing mean?
Yesterday it rained and by the time I got home I was cold and a bit hungry. My wife who stayed home all day had made nothing, so I made myself a can of soup. We didn't speak much yesterday when I got home, and to be honest I was quite okay with that.
I went to bed at 9pm and tried to watch some TV but my eyes were heavy and by 9:45 I gave up. The next thing I knew it was 3:30 and my wife had grabbed her blanket and pillow and went downstairs. I imagine my snoring was keeping her from sleep and I have no idea what time she went to bed. Nor did I care. I fell back asleep at about 3:40 and was fine until 6:30 when she made her presence known by flopping back in our bed (I'm sure trying to wake me up and let me know she was frustrated from her lack of sleep...she's like that...I'm not).
I finally arose at 6:45am and had my two cups of coffee.
It is now 9am and I swear, I could go back to sleep right now. I know that the side effects of these drugs are drowsiness, and I can tell the Lexapro is starting to kick in. My thoughts are focused one minute, then a slight haze the next.
I did receive a text msg from my SIL yesterday afternoon. She said she was planning on talking to her mother sometime around or just after 4pm, but I haven't heard anything yet.
Tonight, my wife and I are still supposed to go out to dinner. At least she acknowledged that this morning as I left and reminded her we have reservations at 8pm. I'm attempting to salvage Valentine's Day, although I don't have much hope. Just need to make it through the next 80 hours or so until Sunday night.
I have a feeling this is the calm before the storm.
2 comments:
A couple of thoughts & questions...
I don't remember you mentioning snoring before - have you always snored or is this a more recent change? Have you done a sleep study in regards to it? If you have apnea, a CPAP machine might bring relief of the additional fatigue you're feeling. With your new meds, you should be having some sort of follow up appointment or call, so talk to the Dr. about the fatigue & snoring...
But then, hello stress. That will rob you of quality sleep as well... You're going to just have to cut yourself some slack here, you certainly have more than earned it!!
So Sunday night, you & your wife's family are planning a sort of intervention for her drinking, am I getting that right? Is this adding to your anxiety or are you sort of relieved that you have some back-up and know what's coming? Are you ready? It's a big undertaking... I'm wishing you peace & strength.
No, I rarely snore. Usually when my sinusus are clogged from allergies or I have a cold. As a matter of fact, I'm losing weight. In the past 6 weeks, I've dropped close to 12 pounds making me about 220, and I'm 5' 10"
I'll answer your next question in a post.
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