Patience...I have none

One gift I have never, ever had has been patience.

Among my personal pet-peeves is repeating myself, explaining something when the answer is right in front of you, being late for any engagement, and to some extent...commercials of all things.

I was reminded yet again of my lack of patience yesterday while watching the PGA championship with Tiger Woods. This whole example is somewhat laughable as it is one big oxymoron, and I am quite aware of it.

One sport that I actually do enjoy watching on TV is golf. I like the occasional football game, but for a guy, you can seriously keep soccer, basketball, tennis, baseball and just about everything else. I do like some Olympic events, but for the most part, I really don't care about sports to much....except golf.

I like the pace of golf, I revel in the accuracy and focus of the game, and if anyone has really watched it, it seems that the announcers are as excitable as an NPR newscast. Okay, maybe that's a bit over the top, but the announcers do get a tad goofy over the most mundane facts.

Many people think that golf is a relaxing, slow paced game, often to help reduce stress, enjoy the day, the greenery, nature. I agree

But you take a slow game like golf, and you come down to the last few holes between Tiger, Eles, and Austin, and CBS can turn 5 minutes into a half hour. I found myself getting so irritated with the commercial breaks at the end because the tension was mounting and the came was getting close. Gameplay seemed like it was interrupted every two minutes by yet another lame commercial. I realized there was no one else around, and I had nothing else planned for the day, yet I was getting so antsy. I could feel myself clenching my hands and audibly chastising the television.

How can I expect the Lord to calm my spirit in serious matters when I can't even relax for a leisurely game of golf that has no impact directly on me?

I've been told countless times over the years from my family that I need to relax, that I need to learn patience, and I agree. I could give myself a heart attack or an ulcer or high blood pressure if I don't do something about it. I pray in regards to it, and it really has yet to be addressed either by me or God. I sometimes wonder if this has been a contributing factor to my panic attacks? The reason I took Clonapen? Amazing what a few milligrams of that stuff can do. Sometimes I wish I had an unlimited supply of that stuff, that anytime I even felt the slightest onset of angst, I could pop one....but I don't. And I'm pretty sure in the long run it isn't good for anybody.