Moved

Earlier this week I sinned. Well, I guess as we are born into this world of sin, we sin daily, but I'm aware of a specific issue in my life that warrants attention and I've been seeking God on numerous occassion to quell my temptations.

I think every person is tempted in everyway just as Jesus was, but today it's harder than ever to avoid and I personally think it takes more effort today than 100 years ago, 200o years ago or even longer to rise above it all. That doesn't make it easier to justify when we fall from grace, because God gives us the ultimate freedon of choice, and in the end, with the tools and knoweldge I have in Him and His word, I still stumble.

Why do I think it's harder today? Technology, plain and simple. Yes, the same sins are here today as they were in Christ's time and even before, but with technology we are bombarded more than ever daily in temptations of the world. Today we have televisions, movies, magazines, the internet, instant worldy communication...whereas 2000 years ago there were not as easily accessible or even invented ways to sin. The temptations while of still the same nature have become more sophisticated.

Take illicit images for example. Sure, there were drawings 2000 years ago, and man could 'draw' secular images but this took time and it took materials. Then came the camera, the first images were monochrome in color, expensive to produce and took time....while they did exist, they weren't neccesarily attainable by everyone. Then came the Poloroid...images that developed in mere minutes, but limited in disbursement. Today we have digital cameras, streaming video, camer phones, images can be printed and carried almost anywhere at anytime. Where the internet was not around 30 years ago, it is said today that internet pornography is one of the largest financial industries on the net. At any given time, with a few keystrokes, I can view any criteria of secular images fatser that my father could just a mere 30 years ago.

I digress. That was an example to illustrate my point.

Anyway, I realize that I am not as strong as I was hoping to be. I filled a void in my life temporarily, and really did not seek God to help quell my selfishness and deliver me from temptation. The problem is, I didn't really try to be stopped. The only person I was harming was myself, and now that it is over and done with, I cannot help but feel like self-conviction plagues me. Father, forgive me. I knew better, but I stand before you without a valid reason. My reasoning at best was selfish, to fulfill an immediate desire and not place my trust in you. Hopefully I am sorry and repentant, but suprisngly I wonder exactly how sorry is sorry enough or if I really am. I think I am because of self-loathing and the fact I've been thinking about it for a few days now.

Is this the Holy Spirit and my own conscious trying to talk to me? Is this why I am led to share with you today?

I feel comfort that Jesus surrouned himself with sinners. They were drawn to him, and he never shunned them like the Pharises. "Those without sin, cast the first stone". "Forgive them Father, for they do not undertsand what they do".

Even the most corrupt are loved and given the chance for redemption. Only His mercy, His love, His Grace, His blood... could do this for us. I know this in my heart to be true, so why in moments of worldliness do I turn my back on Him and His promises for me. No wonder they say hindsight is 20/20, because when you think of the past and have time to reflect, things can become clear if you allow the truth to shine through. But at times I walk in the dark, with blinders on, or even worse...with a bag over my head.

Father, I pray next time for the strength to remember who you are, and that you are with me, that you love me, and I that I wish to please you. Help remove the temptations from my life and the wickedness and bitterness from my heart.