Welcome. 1st post.

I'd like to thank each and everyone of you for stopping by here.

This Blog more or less came to me as an epihany a few weeks back and I struggled for a while if it was the right move or not, to divulge my faith in a pleasing way to the Almighty.

Recently, in times of ongoing personal crisis, I found a lot of support from family, friends and church. Yet, for some reason it never seemed enough. I don't want to sound greedy or unthankful, but for some reason I though maybe God did abandon me. That's crazy, I know. Deep down in my heart, and even in my mind, I know that God has a plan for each and every single one of us. The problem is, he reveals this plan in 'his' time, not 'mine'. And because I am and have always been an impatient person, when the answers don't come as soon as I like, I tend to wonder if I did something wrong.

Something unpleasing.

Something unworthy.

Then I am reminded that even the best of us are sinners, and God does not liek to punish. Yet, I am not positive if he 'tests' a persons mettle as much as many Christians like to proclaim. "Oh, this is God test to you.", they say. I am not so sure about that, or comfortable in absolute agreement.

Oh, by the way, I figure I must tell you I am a Christian. I know there are many flavors of Christians and Christianity, so I'd have to clasify myself as 'Non-demoninational', born-again Christian. But don't let that scare you away.

I have problems.

I'm not perfect, nor ever claimed to be.

My faith is shaken from time to time, and I am trying to overcome fear, anger, jealousy and many other secular practices, and I'm not sure I ever will. If I were, or anyone was perfect, then why would we need Jesus for salvation?

But I have had a calling as of late. Though I'd consider myself a church goer for many years, actually most of my life, it was only recently that my mind and heart and spirit were and continue to be at war with one another. I had a need to seek out the peace of Jesus and to recongnize things in my life as of late, and then the hammer dropped.

Death, loss of a job, clinical depression. Just a small sampling of things I thought I was in control of until my heart began to ache, and I began to cry at any given time. When the loss of sleep affecting my sanity and all the prayers in the world seemed like they fell on deaf ears.

Thus the idea of this blog. Inspired by God? Maybe. A thought that has festered in my brain that I cannot get rid of. To share with you, no matter how I am judged, in hopes of perhaps helping you to discover something about yourself the same way I am trying to rediscover who I am in God ultimate plan. Perhaps a dose of self-psychology and counseling...to get my thought out of my head, and my heart, and on paper, or on this case cyber-space.

Maybe you'll identify, maybe you won't. But I have to do this. Something in my head told me to.

Welcome.