The heat is on.

Boy it's hot today.  We are going through an unseansonable heat wave right now.  It's crazy hot for this time of year.  It's literally 95 degrees outside and the air is still.  It's even warmer at my house, since it's about 30 miles inland from here.  Closer to 100.  I feel for my dog, who is lying at home with a fresh bowl of water and hopefully inside.

Surprisingly, my allergies have not gone Richter on me.  Usually when spring has sprung, there's a lot of pollen in the air, and I spend this time of year heavily medicated on Benedryl or Claritan.  Now, it's just really dry, and I need to remind myself to use more lotion.

Last night, it was super windy, and although it was still hot, at least strong winds acted somewhat like a breeze so the air did not just sit.  I came home and my room mate and I, (yes I have a room mate now) had a few cold beers and watched UFC and Survivor.  He went to be bed at 9pm, and I followed suit at around 9:45. 

I promptly fell asleep, but awoke at 3:45am with both my overhead ceiling fan and oscilating floor fan both on, and really couldn't fall back asleep.  So, that's two night in a row that I've only averaged about 5 hours a sleep.

I'm feeling tad light headed now.  Partly due to the heat, partly due to lack of sleep.

I have 2.5 hours of todays shift, and all day tomorrow to make it through as well.  My GF wants to come over and spend time watching TV with me, (she been working additional hours this week, closer to 55) so I know she's not up for going out.

I have to get up early on Saturday and then meet my parents and my grandfathers house by 8am for an estate sale.  That wraps up around noon, then I need to help my dad move furinture.  Another weekend shot...not that I had anything planned anyway, but I do like to have my options open.  Then next weekend is both Mother's Day and my father's birthday....so that weekend is shot too.  And when I say 'shot', it's not out of disrespect to them, because I love them, but because it just seems that those days that should be my free time...are in fact...not my free time.  I'm getting a little tired of that too.

My GF also hit me up to possibly install yet another cieleing fan in her house.  I've already done two: one in her living room, and one in her daughters room.  Now she wants her room done, and then most likely her other kids room as well.

Then there's my chores: laundry, vacuumimg, mopping, etc.

I have no energy and its too darn hot.

I also have some furniture to restore as well, and my job at work is going to be crazy the next two months.....and all the while, the temperature is gonna get hotter.

I think about how busy I've been as of late, and mostly out of my control, in the service to others.

As much as I may think that sucks,.....and it does at times...., it also keeps me from dwelling on other things I don't want to think about. 

Or maybe because I'm too darn tired to want to think about those things anyway.

Suffice to say, I'm still off my meds, haven't spoke to my ex since I blocked her calls and texts a month ago, and getting through each day now okay....just without enough sleep.