So instead of dragging this out for weeks on end (at my current pace of finding time to write), I'm just going to wrap this 'On the brink' continuing serial with the prominent highlights:
- I'm fogetting to take my pills on a daily basis: ergo, I can't even be sure right now if my mental state is stable because of the lingering medication, or something else.
- Just after I decided not to file papers against my wife, she got let go from her job of 11 years, thus we are down to my income and her on unemployment. So I exchanged one level of stress for another. Of course, our bills will now go up as her company used to pay both our home Internet and her cell phone. Now they don't. That's and increase of approx $120 a month on us to keep, and her income is less than half now based of EDD pay-outs.
- I talked my wife into going to church with me on Easter. She went, and Easter all around was okay.
- My 'new' cholesterol medicine is a bit strong and I've had a few allergic reactions to it to where the doctor has now also included me taking a Bayer aspirin at bedtime too, to offset side effects of cholesterol medicine.
- My 19 year old step daughter called my wife the other evening, and dropped a hint she wants to possibly move back in with us. Something I am not keen on as she was a huge source of drama in our house and a stressor to both my wife and myself. How do I put it nicely (I can't)....she was/is lazy and has an excuse for everything. It's my understanding that in the last 4 months, she has had to move at least 3 different times because she wasn't getting along with her room-mat at the time. Of course my daughter says it was 'never' her issues...Do you see a common denominator here? It's always 'someone elses' fault, never hers. So she possibly wants to move back so we can bail her out again? With what? My wife is now not working...so we are going to have two people not working in my house?
- Learned my cousin has stage 4 cancer and probably won't make it past next month.
- Last Saturday I went to a funeral of a family friend.
- Did I mention I'm under a lot of stress now? Yup, my sleeping patterns and relaxation are out the window right now. Wonder why?
- Earlier this week, I couldn't take it and just sat in my backyard and finished about .275ml of whisky by myself...not smart in hindsight...just wanted to be alone.
- On Wed., I got a flat tire on my way to work. Missed work all day to get it repaired and spent money we don't have and had to use a 'vacation' day (which wasn't a vacation).
- Because of my wife's lack of job, I have to cancel my appointments with my therapist. Can't afford to go to therapy anylonger on one income. My sessions were partially covered by my wife's health care plan, but not any longer. We have 90 days of COBRA, and then that's over.
Yup....pretty much sucks right now.
If you look at that list of crap, there is not one damn thing I can control or was a part of. Well, I suppose maybe my step-daughter....I can say 'No', but I won't. But her and I have to have a real 'heart-to-heart' talk if she thinks she's coming back. Things MUST change in that regard, and we must come to an agreement before she moves back in. No way in hell are things going to go back the way they were, with her loafing around all day long, not doing anything, copping an attitude and watching cartoons all day long while I'm at work providing for all of us. F___ that. And she's going to give me rent money, not her mom...because I'll never see any of it then.
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