Ever seem like you can't win?

Today seemed like it started okay, but then my wife and I had a small 'episode' this morning at 7:45.

See, I get the mail every day and usually place the mail in one of two places: either the kitchen counter or the kitchen table. I take my bills out and pay them, she takes her bills out and pays hers.

This morning she opened one of the utility bills and noticed it was twice the normal amount and asked me why. I took a look and noticed that last months wasn't paid, hence the "past amount due" for 1/2 the price.

Before I knew it, it was my fault it didn't get paid. Why you ask? Because she never saw the bill from last month. I was then told I never put the mail in the same place. She was infuriated, made her faces, turned her back on me, walked away and slammed the door.

I just stood there for a second. Excuse my language, but what the H-E- double hockey sticks just happened? Why am I the bad guy to be on the receiving end of her ill attitude and apparant disgust and anger because the bill wasn't paid on time?

I got in my car and began to drive to work, but I didn't make it more than 2 blocks before I picked up my cell phone an called home. She picked up.

"Yes?" she answered.....great, one word....I can see this is going to be fun.

"What was that all about? Why is this my fault? Why are you angry?" I inquired, feeling my own temper beginning to escalate.

"I'm not angry."

"You could have fooled me. You shook your at me, turned your back on me and walked away and slammed the door as I was talking."

"You misread me?"

"Huh? How could I have misread that? Then what is the matter?"

"You never put the mail in the same place."

"What? I pick up the mail and I either put in on the kitchen counter or the kitchen table. What. Do you think I select which bills I decide to show you and which one I don't. Do you think I secret away bills to the bathroom, the bedroom, and segregate them in to piles I randomly place about the house?"

"I didn't say that."

"No, but explain to me why I just received that treatment? If you pay the bill every month, and you notice you don't pay one for a while, did you think that maybe the utility company decided to give us a freebie? Did it occur to you maybe the bill got lost? Maybe either you or I accidently threw it away? The service hasn't been turned off....What's the difference if you paid it last month on time, or double now?...it's the same amount."...I was on roll now and feeling my anger mounting. You're going to complain to me about a bill that's late that amounts to $100? I thought. Here, you can take the $2500 mortgage payment I make every month.

She was silent a second and then re-iterated she wasn't mad at me. Yeah...right...okay....because you always come out in your bathrobe in the garage, quiz me on a bill, shake your head, stomp away, and slam the door without saying good-bye.

I don't know why, but right now I am angry. I'm angry that she got angry with me, from what my perspective is totally ludicrous, uncalled for, and illogical.

Lord, why do I allow these things to get under my skin, especially between myself and my wife. I need to pray to shake the small stuff, to let go, to find peace in this....but right now I can't. I need to forgive her and I need forgiveness as well. It was a simple oversight; the whole matter easily rectified and can be taken care of. Why was I a target this morning? Why did I feel the need to bite back? Why am I letting this fester in my mind? Jesus, please take this from me.