"If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." (NLT, Matthew 6:14-15)
Today is 9/11 and I'm sure like most Americans and others across the globe, this day is a significant day in social history. Over 3000 people died this day six years ago in an event that unfortunately plays itself over and over almost more often than one would think in other countries and in other times past that don't always make the news. And just as unfortunately, it usually revolves around religious ideologies.
When I awoke this morning my mind was dueling with my heart regarding the forgiveness of fellow our fellow man. I have learned to forgive over the years, but I haven't mastered the concept...whether in dealing with others or even myself.
I've been angry at myself many times in the past for situations I have put myself in, or made foolish decisions about, ending up hurting someone I cared for, myself, or my walk with God. I haven't always forgiven everybody because of stubborness, or just the fact I don't want to thnk about those things anymore.
September 11, 2001. Six years later I still get angry. Angry at certain cultures. Angry at certain relisions, ideologies, mindsets and to be honest...sometimes I wish God's wrath would be strong today as it was in the old testament, but then I remind myself that I too am a sinner...daily in fact....and that wrath is just as equally justified against me than it is other heinous men and their actions.
Yet Christ has the power and the gift to forgive.....
...And I struggle to do the same....
...and I fail.
I had been thinking about this concept of forgiveness today in regards to my ownself and how I feel about people, and maybe I was getting closer to an understanding...and then a news story totally unrelated to 9/11 shattered that concept.
Stories: Tobey the Dog part 1 & Tobey the Dog part 2
The gist of the story is this: 3 teen boys, ages 12, 14 & 16 stole a neighbors young small dog...and tortured it to death. They took turns throwing the dog out of a two story window until the dogs legs were broken. At that point they hung it from a tree, beat it like a pinata, until the dog was decapiated. Arresting officers say the boys have shown no remorse.
I read this story in horror and the following thoughts and emotions came to me:
- Deep sadness and empathy for the little girl whose dog was stolen and killed. Can you imagine the scars she will now carry the rest of her life?
- Empathy for God's creation in Tobey, the dog... I cannot fathom the cruelty placed upon him, his being scared as to why this was happening, where his owner was, and when would it end? Did Christ feel this way when he was being dragged to his crucifixition? I imagine so, but 100 times more!
- What was wrong with these boys? What would prompt them? No feelings of remorse? What chance do these three have in society as they grow up?
- My own anger! I'm honest in saying this is why I say I loathe people! I want to take each boy and inflict a measure of my own carnal justice.
- Forgiveness. How can I? Can I forgive them as easily as Christ can knowing the stae of their hearts. Through his mercy and grace can he forgive these boys. While I am commanded by Christ to love my neighbor and my enemy, I feel I have yet failed again. My anger burns hard and deep right now. My heart both cries in pain and turns to stone again at the thought of my fellow man.
How can I forgive? It is so easily said and commanded by our savior, yet it seems my own capacity diminshes with each passing day.
All I can do is pray for this young girl and her family and trust the Lord gives her peace. I also pray that these boys someday will indeed feel remorse and ask for forgiveness and that Christ will grant it to them. I also pray for myself for my mind is clearly in control when I think of this, and forgiveness is so far from my being right now....
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