Today, I feel sad.

Emotions are a very strange thing.

I awoke feeling indifferent to most things. I didn't want to come to work today, not because I don't like my actual job, but I'm not really a people person. That is, I am not fond of people who talk down to me or treat me as a grunt just because I am low on the totem pole. I find that my current employers also think of me as just a number, devoid of any actual true loyalty or friendliness garnered my way.

So I started off here today on a sour note. Piles of issues coming my way, and no one to help me out. No 'atta boy' for all the issues I resolve timely, but make one simple mistake that can be corrected in seconds, and they are all over you.

I've always enjoyed animals, though I wasn't an animal lover until this last year. Not sure why, probably because the pets I had were fish, a parakeet, and two hamsters when I was growing up. The most I was ever attached to was the hamsters, but they don't have a very long life span...maybe 2-3 years tops.

When someone, well I guess I mean me really, is depressed, they tend to seek out other forms of affection. People usually let me down, or at least have let me down especially in the last few years. I find myself tiring of them...the repetitive banter, excuses, nothing to offer...maybe its the people I surround myself with. I need to find new people who can stimulate my mind and emotions. Or get away from the 'know-it-alls'.

While spending a few minutes away from it all, I came across the profile of Clover, the pictured dog. Clover led a full life but succumbed to some seizure attacks recently brought on by age and it was determined in a painful but loving way to put Clover to sleep.

To end Clover's pain.

I don't know this dog, nor its family, but my heart aches after reading Clover's parents last few entries. I cried. Instead of the sourness I felt earlier towards work and people, I now cry for Clover and her parents, and can only pray that Jesus and God have made special arrangements for family pets such as dogs and cats. I don't even have a child but I can hardly imagine the pain one feels in losing a son or daughter. I'm a wreck just learning about someone else's beloved family dog. I wish I could be there to share in the parents grief, no matter how strange that sounds. There is just something about the unconditional love of a family dog that no human being can ever achieve.