Changes and witnessing

For those that are stopping by and wondered what happened to the subdued green palette here before, I thought it was time for a little change.

I wanted a little color, something that was a little bit more upbeat. I like the fact that Blogger has some new picture inspired templates, and the background picture you see here was out of their stock section. Why this picture? Well, I love the southwest. I may not always enjoy 100+ degree temperatures, but I love the mystery and isolation of a beautiful desert. The way these barrel cactus's stand for 100+ years in complete solitude and weather the elements has some symbology buried somewhere in their about me.

There was another picture as well or a beautiful blue sky with billowy clouds that I liked as well, but this one won out...just barely.

Not sure if I'll keep the format as it stands right now. I may play with a few of the colors and fonts before I settle on a finalized look, so bare with me if you notice a few minor changes over the next few weeks.

Okay, back to the present.....I didn't do too much this weekend. We stayed in both Friday and Saturday nights which I guess is a good thing from a financial standpoint. It may not be good from a diet standpoint as neither one of us was in the mood to cook, so my wife ordered a pizza in which I only ate about 4 slices. I was also happy and surprised she took a rare interest in a video game I was playing. It's called 'Alan Wake' and it's a very unique, story-driven, game with interesting writing and very realistic graphics. Normally she's not into my games, but this one plays like a movie, and she got sucked in and was genuinely interested.

Saturday morning I went to my men's bible study, then the gym, then to the butcher to buy my hog casing and back fat to make sausage. When I was there, I met an interesting dude who was a bit salty in his language, but he invited me over to his house to give me some elk sausage he had flown in from Alaska. Now I know this sounds terribly weird and possibly dangerous and may raise a yellow flag with most people, but I just left the gym and I was looking big and this guy was older but he truly seemed authentic to me (though I did call my wife from cell phone....just in case). His place was only about 2 miles from the butcher shop and in a pretty public area so I agreed. I never stepped in his house and he was kind enough to bring me out a few pounds of sausage....gave me his card....and said in the coming weeks he'd be smoking some salmon (my favorite) and said he'd like for me to come back over and even bring my wife. We'll see, but so far he seems harmless enough. There may be an opportunity down the road to witness to him, but it just didn't feel right for me to bring it up, but through his conversation with me he offered up that he was divorced and despite his jovial demeanor towards me, I could sense some confusion and bitterness underneath.

Speaking of witnessing, I had a long lost cousin contact me yesterday. I won't go into all the details on what brought us to our first conversation in almost 7-8 years yesterday, but it seemed like a miracle to me. He's my second cousin, is quite a few years older than me (I believe he's in his late 50's), live is San Fransisco and gay.

I don't know exactly what happened in the past, nor do I want to know, nor is it my business, but parts of my family have written my parents (and by proxy...me) because we're Christian. I think in their mind they picture or stereotype all Christians as these right-wing fanatics who are intolerant and preach hate in regards to sexual identity.

I finally had the chance to set the record straight with him yesterday, and I could just tell he was so relieved and a great burden was lifted off his shoulders. I calmly told him that I was sorry he and others felt that way, but they never bothered to try and talk to me...to find out my viewpoints, my thoughts, my concerns, instead they let CNN and Al Franken define who I was instead.

I think he was surprised to learn my best friend in college was gay, that he stood in my wedding party. He was even more surprised to learn that I don't believe being gay is a one way ticket to hell.

Being a Christian is a relationship between you and God. We are not supposed to judge others, and the only way to heaven in through Him, not me, not politics, not a pastor, not tithing, and not just good works. I told him we'll be very surprised by who we see and who we don't see in heaven, that WE ALL fall short if only by the grace of God. No one is better than someone else, and there is no mention of sexuality in heaven. Sexuality is an issue here on earth and quite frankly I think once we die and are in heaven, sex in the 'carnal' sense no longer has any meaning. Of course I don't know this for fact, but there's nothing I've read in the new testament that describes husbands and wives and procreation in heaven.

I don't want this entry to be about gay versus straight. It's not. It's about a family member who carried around with him a lot of pent up frustration over the years on hear-say and came to false conclusions and separation based on perceived ideology...not actually talking to someone. I think after we spoke for nearly 40 minutes, he realized that my walk with Christ is not fire and brimstone. I told him Christ hung out with thieves, liars, prostitutes, the lowly of society....not the rich and pompous and elite do-gooders. I told him I have my own struggles...with depression and sin, and had thoughts of anger and bitterness as well, that just because I'm Christina, it didn't stop me from being human. I told him (not in great detail) of my struggles in marriage and that I still swear when I'm mad, and I still have drinks here and there.

It really opened his eyes and he promised to contact me again in the future. By no means am I a theologian, nor can I quote bible scripture of the top of my head, but looking back, all the events that led him to call me is nothing short of a blessing from God and I'm so thankful for the opportunity to be open and not condemning.