"Underwood also said such fantasies began about the time he started taking the antidepressant Lexapro. Defense attorneys plan to call witnesses during the penalty phase on his use of the drug."

Above is a direct line from a horrific story here I came across on CNN.com. I'll warn you ahead of time, it is a graphic story that involves a homicide and the details are disturbing.

I've noticed a trend as of late that the news seems to mention the types of antidepressant drugs involved when it comes to notable crimes of this nature. It was only a few weeks ago we learned that the young man who shot and killed students, then took his own life at Virgina Tech was also, as his girlfriend stated: "Off his meds."

While I do indeed believe there is some merit when drawing a correlation between antidpressant drugs and recent news stories, it's also pretty dangerous to draw such correlations as well.

According to the Wikipedia entry on 'Escitalopram' (aka Lexapro), some side effects of Lexapro include nausea, gastrointestinal issues, drowsiness, dizziness, and some sexual side effects. There was no mention of violent tendancies or 'fantasies' as Underwood recounted.

From my own personal experience, I can agree with the gastrointestinal issues, but nausea, dizziness and drowsiness were very mild for me. I didn't suffer any sexual side effects, other than maybe a diminished sex drive. But I was so moody, depressed, angry, bitter, sad, etc....that sex was the last thing on my mind anyway, so I am not to sure if Lexapro affected me in that arena or not.

In a not-so, but somewhat related tangent....did you know that Scientology doesn't allow its cult members to use antidepressants? I've heard similar accounts for Jehovah Witnesses as well, but I'm not 100% positive of that claim or not. I only mention this because I thinks its a bit strange that a few religions don't believe in the use of certain medications or doctors in general, but I argue that God gave man the intelligence and gifted brains to create such modern medicinal miracles. Look at Aspirin as a case in point.

This reminds me of an analogy I once heard. A couple's home town was devestated by a flood, and they found temporary shelter on the roof of their house and began to pray in earnest that they be saved by God. After a day or two, a boat comes along side the house and offers rescue, but the couple rejects it in belief that God will deliver them. Two more days go by and finally a helicopter finds them and drops them a ladder, but again they refuse, stating God will rescue them. Unforunately, the couple dies and they find themselves in heaven and complain to God that they were too young to perish, that they had prayed, and wondered why God had let them perish, abandoning them. God in turn replied, "My children, I did hear you. I am the one who sent you the boat and the helicopter."

So I am digressing a bit here. The point is God has given man the ability to use his hands, skills, talents, and minds for medical purposes....so don't reject them outright because some religious figures say not to, or just pray, and if you have enough faith, then you will be cured. I don't think it works that way.

So back to my original thought....I was very disturbed to read that CNN made it a point to mention the Lexapro tidbit, as if to lead readers to believe this may be the cause of this mans mental state. I believe Mr. Underwood was/is mentally unstable as it is, and they didn't state his history of use. Meaning, did he just start taking it? Was he on and off? What was the dosage? Were other factors involved?

My personal experience was I started with 5mg at first. When I mentioned I didn't feel much different at the end of two weeks, my dosage was adjusted to 10mg. Again, when I was really having a tough time and felt that death was indeed an option, my dosage was upped upped to 20mg a day. I'll be honest...I don't know what the upper limit is on dosages, or what the average dosage is. I suspect it's different for everyone and my 20mg may be enough for me, but not enough, or possibly too much for someone else. But I was also told that I had to take it every day, and could take 5 weeks, maybe more, for my body to accept the drug and regulate, and by missing one day may mess up the whole treatment. I don't know one way or another.

What I do know is that I didn't have any 'fantasies' at all. The exact opposite happened. I just felt numb. I was indeed aware that my emotional controls centers seemed diminished. I was always 'even keel'...not overly angry or sad, but never happy and joyous either. Like my mind was muddled when it came to socializng with others. I could still think and do my job, but interaction with others just seemed off. Jokes weren't funny. Songs didn't have me tapping my feet. But my anger was also gone, as was many of the negative emotions as well. There was no more black or white...just grey, if that makes sense.

So what were these fantasies? Is it possible that Mr. Underwood was 'encouraged' or 'tricked' by one of Satans minions? We live in a corrupt world, and I am making no excuse for Mr. Underwood. He should be held accountable, and receive the appropriate punishement. But I wonder how depression takes so many different forms, and if weak willed people (including myself at times) can be influnced by those who really want to seperate us from God and drive us further into sin and madness...i.e. demonic forces. I believe that a certain seperation from God does allow for certain heinous acts to be carried out easier than if someone did have an inkling of Gods knowledge within oneself.