Wow, I have to admit that the comments from Anonymous really had an effect on me. In a good way that is. The fact that there are a few people out there who actually read my entries and take the time to compose thier thoughts and send them my way are very encouraging.
Yesterday's post in retrospect did seem to take on a life of its own. I had only planned on making a few comments in return, and before I knew it I was writing my own novel.
Sometimes its good to do that. Write and write and write. Anybody who really gets to know me also knows that I love to read. On average I read 1-2 novels a month on top of a few magazines cover to cover, technical white papers, news articles, and tons of short stories. One gift I have always had is the ability to jugle multiple stories and not get them confused. I am able to set a book down, start another, return to the former and never miss a beat.
That kinda reminds me when the very first shrink I saw said he believed I had Adult ADD. He went on to say that it has to do short attention spans or the need to always have my mind occupied.
At first, I thought it was all a bunch of hooey, but as time went on I began to see things about myself that may lend some credence to his statements. Although I'm not always positive of the motivation behind it all.
In general, he's right. I had dull moments. I hate being bored. Dull momeents doesn't have to be about adrenaline rushes or full of physical activity either. The more I think of it, the more I realize I usually have to be engaged in something, and I'm quite content on doing it solo. Whether it be a video game, reading a book, building a puzzle, fixing something, watching something, talking about something.
Sometimes I wonder if this is my own defense mechanism. I engage in all sorts of things so I don't feel alone. So I don't have the time to be depressed or negative. It doesn't always work, but the more I listen to my family, freinds, and wife...they clearly know that I 'have' to be doing 'something'.
But I am envious of those who can find the peace and quiet and stillness in their lives. I have written before that there are occassions in which I wish I could shut EVERYTHING out. I paint vivid pictures in my mind of being elsewhere, like a country field next to a stream in the late afternoon....listening to a babbling brook, the wind through the brush, the warmth of the setting sun....and that's all. Other times I close my eyes and almost have to concentrate to relax. Shut out all thoughts and senses and just be one with the air surrounding me, trying to relax and melt into the environment. There are days I crave that peace of mind and stillness like you can't believe.
Anyway, here I go again, off onto another tangent I wasn't expecting.
I really just wanted to say that the posts and your comments from the previous few days have really had my mind working overtime and I had some one-on-one time with the Creator yesterday. It just wasn't about praying. It wasn't me asking for something to be fixed. It was more about 'sharing' my thoughts with him while I was walking my dog. While my body was tired from work, it was nice to take those 20 minutes and forget about the world as a whole and just 'hang out' with God.
I need to do that more often.
No comments:
Post a Comment