Disturbing Dreams

Like most people, we all have our share of disturbing dreams.



When I was younger I experienced the same nightmares most children do....scared of being lost, of certain montsers or insects, etc. When I was a teenager and in my 20's, my dreams often got more violent....things like death were a repeating occurance. I often saw myself getting stabbed, or being in a horrific car wreck, or plummeting from great heights.



And even older still, I am convinced that Satan (or a minion thereof) has revealed himself (itself) to me in the stages between actually slumber and being awake. There seems to be varying opinions if Satan can actually manipulate our dreams as he is not omniscient, but he can plant seeds of doubt, despair, and fear so as when we do fall asleep they can wreak havoc on our minds and heart.

Anyway, I had a distrubing dream this morning which has burdened me with guilt though the actions performed never took place.

The bible doesn't say much about dreams, that is, in regards to their purpose and how to interpret them. The bible only mentions dreams when it comes to certain events or certain personalities and they served a greater purpose than filling the time between being awake and slumber.

So I had a very disturbing dream this morning which involved my wife.

We were arguing about who knows what, and despite my visual queues and request to stop, my wife continued to 'push my buttons'. At one point as I walked past her, she pinched me on teh rear, and not in a loving way. It hurt and was meant to.

It was this last action which was the straw that 'broke the camels back.' I was going to show her what a 'real' pinch felt like if she wanted to play this game.

Like a parent who grabs their childs nose in an innocent game of "I got your nose", I reached out and grabbed my wife by the nose.

And squeezed.

Squeezed so hard she screamed and began to bleed profusely.

Using only a fraction of my strength, I caused more damage in 5 seconds than my wife could ever do using all her strength at any given time.

As quickly as I lashed out and did this, I just as quickly realized what I did was wrong and I was instantly wracked with guilt. The damage was done, and there was no amount of apologizing that I could do that would fix this this. I let go and she scurried into the bathroom in tears and blood. I followed up behind her feeling laothesome inside, on how I could stoop so low. I began to beg for forgiveness, but I quickly awoke.

I laid in bed for a minute trying to collect my thoughts. It was quiet, but my mind seemed to scream out at me: How could you do that? What have you done? I had no answers other than the feeling of raw guilt pouring out of me and quickly prayed to God above to calm my spirit.

It has been bugging me all day today. I often wonder what purpose dreams have in God's design if not meant for some message from Him or some other divine purpose. I could do without those type of dreams.